Dreams and Nightmares Pt. 1

Breathless yet?

Breathless yet?

Look at it..kind of cool right?  I thought so, in fact I almost wallpapered it.  Boom roasted.  On another note, isn’t that what we all want?  We want to fade into the sunset and live in this highlight reel reality where things work out.  We want to sit on those shores gazing at the vista before you and utter the words, “I’m happy.”  You want to sit there and feel lucky, feel blessed, feel like everything you need is right here and get this moment of eternity where everything is perfect.  You’ve hit this high and it’s all you ever wanted or needed.  Ok, I’ve spent enough time ranting about some dreamscape hope some people have.  Here’s the other side, what if it’s not what you expected?  What if you get there thanks to hard, legit work, and this is the big moment, but you’re left there saying wait, what?  Why am I not suddenly happy, why do I still have my insecurities, why is the agony of loneliness still creeping at me despite being here, surrounded by “friends.”  Define your friends, are they the people you’d die for?  When I’d say die for, I don’t mean in some poetic heroic sense, I mean in the sense that you couldn’t live without them.  I mean when you’re old and they’re old, you’d prefer to go first and die in your sleep, so you wouldn’t have to suffer through seeing them go.  Connect those dots if you can, I do struggle with consistency in my points, which is why I write.  You have the dream.  Then you get hit with the kick.  Was the dream real in the first place or was it misguided by the media stream of what should be ideal.  Here’s question two, maybe you’re in that moment and it is everything you wanted.  It IS that amazing, it’s ideal.  It changes you, it almost enlightens you to a moment of pure estatic bliss.  Well, here’s the second problem, it’s not permanent, it’s only temporary.  Things change and it’s difficult to deal with, but ignorance is bliss.  You’ve experienced this great thing, but it’s not going to be there forever.  Look at it this way, when you get there, you’re twice as high as you’ve ever been, but then when it ends you fall back to the standard, which is now twice as far.  Maybe the next stage of your life is even more depressing and it’s worse.  Well, this escalated quickly.

Ok, so I’ve grown to understand no one understands my sarcasm or my points, so if you’re still with me, I guess I’ll shoot the abridged version.  I found a cool picture and posted it.  I wrote about how awesome it would seem to be there, then countered it with two ridiculously knitpicky reasons of how it might not be that awesome.  In reality, I’m not talking about going on vacation to Bali or somewhere cool, I’m talking about going through changes in your life.  I’m talking about how shitty it is to reach a point where you’re like this is awesome, but get hit with a hard dose of reality and the difficulties of coping with that change.

The Kick….


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